Procrastinating & Projecting

July 18, 2013 § 4 Comments

We move next weekend, and here I am blogging when I should be packing – the one task that I detest more than anything in the world. Even more than washing the dishes or clearing a slow drain. Yes, I’d rather spend my afternoon with a plunger than with cardboard boxes and packing tape. Procrastination is a funny thing. In practice: stopping to tie my hair before dropping back. Straightening out crinkles in the mat towel. Spending too much time trying to ensure that my mat is “straight”. Yawning. Fidgeting with the hems of my wunder unders, so that they’re at the same level. Pithy distractions make a futile game of putting off the inevitable, the mind giving itself the illusion of control, of its ability to delay suffering, when in actual fact, all this faffing and procrastinating is the suffering.

Ah, life.

I recently started to see how the projection of my worldview on the relationships and events around me accounts for a significant part of the ‘suffering’ in my life. The way I project my expectations onto others, on how things “should” be, on how “I” would do things differently, etc etc etc. It is ridiculous how much projecting and self-centered filtering goes on in how I see the world and interpret it. Ridiculous. From the smallest slight to the biggest “insult” (in my book), the projecting spins its own narrative arc that very quickly takes on a life of its own and sparks knee-jerk reactions, if I’m not careful. Another facet (or maybe it’s the same thing) of the monkey mind. In this case I’d call it the Panopticon – the one large lens through which all things are perceived and interpreted and taken all too seriously. The one lens from which I need to detach and observe. That is why I practice.

PS: My teacher’s wry and eloquent take on Ashtanga and pain.


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§ 4 Responses to Procrastinating & Projecting

  • evahowe says:

    I was just talking to Alex about procrastinating backbends! I tend to mess with my hair to make sure that none of it is anywhere near my hands. However, the procrastination never seems to make them any easier.

  • mariavlong says:

    I don’t know how far along you are in this process, but the times that I have moved have been great opportunities to simplify, donate, and get rid of things that collect dust or take up space. Be ruthless!! AND your teacher’s post is brilliant. It is so true what she says about the five year marker and it is probably true of the seven year one too. the pains I felt the first couple of years have disappeared. I have other patterns that will probably clear up with time as well.

    • D says:

      We did a yard sale last year which was totally helpful in weeding out a lot of unnecessary junk we’ve accumulated since moving here 6 years ago. There were boxes that had never been opened since we left Singapore! So, that makes this move a little easier – less sorting, just packing. Re: disappearance of pain and patterns – I see it happening to me too 🙂

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