Procrastinating & Projecting
July 18, 2013 § 4 Comments
We move next weekend, and here I am blogging when I should be packing – the one task that I detest more than anything in the world. Even more than washing the dishes or clearing a slow drain. Yes, I’d rather spend my afternoon with a plunger than with cardboard boxes and packing tape. Procrastination is a funny thing. In practice: stopping to tie my hair before dropping back. Straightening out crinkles in the mat towel. Spending too much time trying to ensure that my mat is “straight”. Yawning. Fidgeting with the hems of my wunder unders, so that they’re at the same level. Pithy distractions make a futile game of putting off the inevitable, the mind giving itself the illusion of control, of its ability to delay suffering, when in actual fact, all this faffing and procrastinating is the suffering.
I recently started to see how the projection of my worldview on the relationships and events around me accounts for a significant part of the ‘suffering’ in my life. The way I project my expectations onto others, on how things “should” be, on how “I” would do things differently, etc etc etc. It is ridiculous how much projecting and self-centered filtering goes on in how I see the world and interpret it. Ridiculous. From the smallest slight to the biggest “insult” (in my book), the projecting spins its own narrative arc that very quickly takes on a life of its own and sparks knee-jerk reactions, if I’m not careful. Another facet (or maybe it’s the same thing) of the monkey mind. In this case I’d call it the Panopticon – the one large lens through which all things are perceived and interpreted and taken all too seriously. The one lens from which I need to detach and observe. That is why I practice.
PS: My teacher’s wry and eloquent take on Ashtanga and pain.