Done? Never Done.

May 2, 2013 § 10 Comments

Recording this for posterity: Did three crash-free dropbacks today, thereby invalidating the narrative that “I won’t ever be able to dropback on my own”. Today’s event was necessary to prove the intuition I’ve had for a few months now – that my body is ready and fully capable of doing this, if I can get my mind out of the process for long enough. I need to work through this on my own, in my own space, without recourse to a pair of supporting hands or a familiar voice telling me “you’re fine”, “bend your knees” “yes, you can do it”. My teachers had become my crutches, and it was time to cast that away. The entire process took about 15 minutes I think. 15 minutes of pep talks, deep breathing, false starts and just hanging, frozen, in mid-air trying to figure out how to “bend my knees” to bring me closer to the floor without crashing.

The work that lies ahead is in cutting down that pep talk time, engaging the arms more so that they stay straight on landing and now, working on standing up. The journey never ends does it?

Still, I did it. I’m one step closer to demolishing the demons in this pose (are dropbacks really a pose?) and while the work continues tomorrow, today is reserved for basking in the glow of contentment and the ability to say “I did it!!”.

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§ 10 Responses to Done? Never Done.

  • globie says:

    Well done, though for some reason I thought you were already doing drop backs on your own. Arms straight on landing was the key for me.

  • globie says:

    Try a beach, I was relying on the same crutch as you for too long, knowing intervention was nearby I never took responsibility. I cracked it on a sandy beach, knowing it wouldn’t hurt (much) if it went wrong. My teacher found out I’d done it on my own and next time in the Shala she just stood and watched, I knew she wasn’t going to “save” me and that I had to do it on my own. I faffed around psyching myself up to go for it, she just pointed a finger and said “do it ” and I did. But that was it I could do it.

    • D says:

      I love the beach idea, but whenever I’m on a beach the last thing I want to do is a dropback šŸ˜‰ I’m glad I’m doing this at the start of my home practice month – there’s a good chunk of time ahead for me to turn this into a habit which should reduce the faffing time eventually.

    • Nobel says:

      Congrats! Now you just have to “find” the muscles needed to get back up šŸ™‚

  • grimmly says:

    I missed this somehow. Congratulations D!
    Yes, it’s like cooking a big meal, hours of prep then eaten in half an hour….or ten minutes even. Sure your build up and pep talk will get shorter although I STILL have a pleasant mini ritual that I do with mine. I guess when you get back to the shala after your solo month you wont be able to faff about psyching yourself up, nice to have few weeks to indulge though.
    I read this jubilant post ( know your trying to tone it down but still imagine you skipping mentally as you right it) after your most recent post in which things don’t seem to be going well for you, doesn’t feel quite right writing a congratulatory comment when I know your really down right now. Wishing you fortitude as you face whatever is causing you pain.

    • D says:

      Thanks Grimm – taking some time off the Internets has helped. Just going through an intense period right now where I feel life is up in the air. A lot of uncertainty and I don’t do well with uncertainty. There’s a lesson in there somewhere….Add in one or two relationship disappointments to the mix and there’s a potent combination.

      The psych-up talk seems to be diminishing with each practice, but we shall see how I can keep up with that. Funny thing is I don’t know if I’m going to land on my hands each time I do it – again, uncertainty. The new normal. Would love to know a little bit about your mini ritual šŸ™‚

      • grimmly says:

        Re not knowing if your going to land on the hands just remember the mantra “arms strong nama ya, arms strong nama ya” : )
        I hunted for a post on my drop back prep (faff) there’s this, the second video in a post I called ‘Behind the scenes’. The post is from a while ago, my pre dropback ritual is a little shorter now but there’s still the walking from the wall one step in frount of the other (three steps), some swaying back and forth as I work on dropping the pubic bone down to the coccyx and getting the hips forward. A brief hang and then I always come up via the wall the first time whether I feel I need to or not.

        My feet are straighter now going back although turn out a little still when I come up. Here’s the link to the post
        http://grimmly2007.blogspot.co.uk/2010/08/backbends-behind-scenes.html

        Guess I’ll have to work on dropping the routine in prep for Manju’s TT in Crete this August (Shhhh, haven’t posted on that yet, only just booked the flights : )
        Hope things are beginning to settle and getting easier, not just the backbends

  • D says:

    I like that mantra, going to incorporate that in my faffing routine if you don’t mind šŸ˜‰

    Thanks for sharing your video, now I don’t feel so alone when I do my dropback prep. I don’t have any walls around me, which makes it more scary I suppose, but at the same time I don’t want to develop another crutch. Right now I usually do 2 pre-dropback arches before going for the real thing. Depending on how the sacrum feels, in between each dropback I stretch it out so it doesn’t get over compressed. I’ve found that squatting with the knees turned out and torso leaning towards the front to be really effective in relieving any tightness, much better than just folding forwards into Uttanasana.

    So excited for you about Crete, I can’t wait to read your take on it. And yes, things are a little easier now, though life never really settles does it???

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