October 11, 2012 § 8 Comments
It’s now 5:33 pm, on Day 7 (out of 21) of a detox program. I just prepped ingredients for dinner while waiting for the husband to return, and I’m sorely feeling the absence of a glass of good Californian Pinot.
This isn’t a hard-core cleansing diet. It’s more like a ‘part-time’ detox. I whip up a 10 oz smoothie in the morning, a mixture of five different types of powders and the rest of the day, I eat whatever I want. Well, that’s not really true. I need to watch what I eat – i.e., organic, whole foods, no junk – but, I need to leave out the caffeine and alcohol.
My nutritionist calls it an “oil change” to help with the changing seasons. I also have a hormonal imbalance, which is playing itself out in annoying ways, so this cleanse is supposed to help strengthen the liver and support what its supposed to do. In addition, I thought it would be a good idea to cleanse and strengthen the gut ahead of six weeks in India. At least when I fall sick there, I’ll know that those bugs deserve to win.
To be honest, I am pretty surprised that I’ve stuck with it this far, and the coffee cravings have been mostly non-existent, happily. I think it’s because the smoothie’s a substitute for my breakfast, and by the time I’m done with it, I’m so full it takes away the craving for anything else.
The hard part is giving up the alcohol, and the longer I go without it, the more I realize how much of my consumption of it is out of habit. I don’t crave a glass of wine for its buzz. I crave it because opening and sharing a bottle with my husband is the activity that tides us through dinner prep and conversations about the day. And it helps that it tastes good. The problem though, is paying for it on the mat the next morning, which is a truly horrendous experience. I know that, having slogged through hungover practices enough times to, logically, not do it again. And yet I still do (did).
Some habits are really hard to break. And yet, compared to the mental habits entrenched over 33 years, giving up alcohol and coffee for 21 days shouldn’t be that difficult in comparison, right? Granted, it’s not as tough as giving up smoking or drugs. This wine craving only hits during “happy hour” – between the hours of 4:30 and 7pm. And it’s hard enough.
The upside is, I’ve felt more calm and clear-headed this past week than I have in recent memory, and it’s been easier to wake from a full night of quality sleep and get on the mat. My practice is starting earlier these days (I try to get on the mat before 6:30am), so that I can fit everything in and still have time to hang out for a post-practice chat. My mind, though still distracted, is easier to rein in and to tune out. So far, so good.
But those darned happy hours keep taunting me every day. Damn.
Day 7 and counting. We’ll see how long my willpower holds.