Not Pretty

August 7, 2012 § 1 Comment

That’s the current state of my practice. After Chuck came and turned our practices on their head for 10 days, Kirsten and Mitchell took over, keeping up the pace and working us really really hard. Having them back to back, and the eager student syndrome of wanting to give 110% at each practice really took its toll, leaving me limp in bed with the flu for a whole week. It was a painful, but important lesson, in managing one’s energy.

Now I’m back from a week in New York photographing 5,000 women at a bloggers’ conference and all the flexibility I thought I had is now a sweet dream, thanks to cross-country flights and the toll of lugging around a bunch of lenses and my laptop for three straight days. My one consolation is that the quads got a good workout, which should definitely help with backbending.

But first, the current state of my body. Practice is completely unglamorous with bent knees in all my forward folds. Grimaces in the standing postures as my hips resist. Awkward backbends from all the hours scrunched up in front of the computer and behind the camera. It is a hard slog.

And you know what? Who cares? Fuck “pretty” practices. “Pretty” is for the camera, the magazine cover, the screen. For some obscure notion of an “audience” that the ego believes is there. “Pretty” is not my reality, and it does not need to be my goal.

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